FanFiction of Doom
by Night-Waker
Summary: Zim and Dib have fought many battles, but what happens when they discover a mysterious book? Upon reading it, the pair will come face-to-face with their greatest and most dangerous foe to date: the dreaded Mary Sue.
1. Meet Loe

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. NOTHING I SAY! Just "Teh Bestest Invadur Evah!1!" the Sues and ZimmyGurl, sadly.**

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**A/N: **_I've had this idea in my head for far too long..._

_Anyway this was inspired by a Danny Phantom fic called "Teh Soopr Gost Gurl" which was inspired by an Eragon fic called "Canon and Fanon Don't Mix" which was in turn inspired by another fic called "Never Leave FanFiction Lying Around." So I guess you could say I'm doing a FanFiction meme. Apologies ahead of time if everyone seems OOC._

_Enjoy!_

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It was a lovely day.

The summer air was warm, the sun was out and shining brightly, and the city's police department had been commended recently for busting a loitering ring run by elementary school children. Meanwhile in the local park, while usually it would be filled with tourists, citizens and the usual robotic squirrels, today it was the sight of a showdown between two long time foes.

Dib dived to his left. A split second later a laser sailed past the spot where he'd been standing before hitting a nearby tree. Dib quickly got up and shot a glare toward the alien standing yards away with his robot companions before the human reached into his pocket and pulled out a water balloon.

"Is that all?" Zim asked smugly with a smirk, "You've really become desperate if you think that pathetic projectile will injure me while I'm-"

Before the disguised Irken could finish Dib had hurled the object right at him. The balloon hit Zim directly in the chest and exploded water all over him. Almost immediately Zim's skin began to burn with a loud _hiss_ and he crumpled to the ground withering and screeching in pain.

"Gir! You said you refilled the glue supply!" Zim barely managed to shout out.

"Oh _yeaaaaah,"_ the small robot said, as though he had just remembered, before grinning, "I used mayo instead!"

"Gir!" Zim yelled in annoyance as Dib stood over him triumphantly.

"You see Zim," he began, "You'll never take over the Earth as long as I'm still standing!"

Suddenly he was knocked to the ground by a heavy object falling from the sky and landing on top of him.

The Invader, who had quickly dried himself off, got up and was about to laugh at his enemy's pain when he spotted the object that fell on Dib. Curious, Zim went over to it and discovered it was a book. The book was thick with many pages and had a fluffy laced white cover with a pink Irken Military logo on it. Written in cursive gold letters were the words _'Teh Bestest invadur Evah!1!' by ZimmyGurl._

Dib stood back up, rubbing the spot on his head where he'd been hit, but froze when he saw the Irken logo and the (misspelled) word "Invader" on the book's cover.

"I've gotta read that!" he said in excitement as he reached for the book. In those pages could be the key to defeating Zim and saving the Earth! However, when he made a grab for it the alien held it to his chest defensively.

"Why should I let _you _read it, Earth-stink?" Zim asked, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at the boy.

"Well...," Dib quickly racked his mind to think of excuse without giving away his true intentions, "It fell out of the sky. Isn't that a little strange for a book?"

"So? Knowing you, you're just looking for Irken weaknesses... not that Irkens _have _any."

Dib blinked. Was he really that predictable?

"I, er... don't you at least want to know what it's about?" He tried again.

Zim thought it over for a moment. A book randomly falling out of the sky was a strange thing, especially one with an Irken Military logo on the front cover. Though admittably Zim had seen stranger during his time on Earth, he was curious about what the book could be about.

"Hm... very well human, but I'm watching you," he answered at last.

* * *

"Okay so we take turns reading," Dib explained as he, Zim and his two robot minions sat in a circle in the grass, "we'll swich every other chapter."

"Yes yes," Zim said as he waved his hand dismissively, "Let's get this over with, I have a planet to destroy."

Dib gave the Irken a glare before opening the book. On the first page was a short summary.

_So my OC cums to earth to kill Zim but falls in luv wit him insted. I suk at summerys LOL! R&amp;R b/c this fic is sooo gud!11_

Dib blinked for a second time, "O...kay...?"

"What does 'R&amp;R' mean? _Tell Zim! Tell him now!_" Zim demanded, being sure to put special emphasis on the last five words.

"I don't know! Geez... you need to relax," Dib answered and turned the page.

_CHAPTER 1: Teh spichal misson_

_Loe wuzs nervous as her long slender legs took her down the long hallway of the Massive, her white sex-inch high heel bots making the only sound as they made clicking noises on the floor. She hasd been asked by the Tallests to come see them imediatly 4 somthing important. Her delicate long curled antenne that hung down her back and wer black as night sky twiched in nervousness as she wondered why they needede her._

"What language is this author writing in?" Zim questioned as he reread the passage and trying to make sense of it.

"...Wow...," was all Dib could say as he took in the horrble use of grammer and spelling.

_Finally she reacht dher destennation. It was the Controll bridge where the tallest usually were doing important stuff. She shmoovded out her low-cut (That showed offf her huuuuge chest) short pink dress tat totaly showed off her curves, with her white rubber gloves. She also wore black fishnet stockings that showed of her smexy tanned emerald green legs and had a black PAK with hot pInk spots that sparkled. she binlked her eyes (one wuz blue and da other was gold and they shone like a thousand suns) as she prepared to ebnter. She was sooooooooooooo cute and hawt!_

"Actually she sounds like she was in a horrible lab accident," Zim commented, "and Irkens don't dress like that!"

"Shh! I'm reading this!"

_She ten opened the door and saw Tallest waitngg 4 her on the other side. "Ah, Invadur Loe," said rEd, "We have a speckl mission for you."_

_"As u know, your the greatest Invader ever in irks history and your r fav" Purple began and Loe smiled when she heard tat._

At that the Irken narrowed his lensed eyes at the book.

"Zim is the greatest Invader, not this Loe-thing!" he interjected, sounding highly offended, "Give me that book so I can destroy it!"

"No way," Dib said with a smirk, enjoying Zim's growing irritation towards the object in his hands.

_Everyone knew how awesum she wuz at incading. She had conquered about ten planets ever since she gradchuated invader school at da top of the class._

"Nonsense," Zim huffed.

_"Now we neededn you to go to earf to kill zim because he sucks at Invading and stuff so you can concur it uself." explained Red. Loe bowed respeckfully. "Yes mah Tallest," she answed._

"LIES! All _LIES!" _Zim suddenly exclaimed furiously, jumping up to his feet and looking like he was about to rip the book to shreds, "The Tallest gave me this mission because only someone as amazing as Zim could conquer this flithy planet!"

"Oh man, this author's a genius if she's getting you worked up like this," said Dib, who had by this point decided to take out a notebook and had begun to write down everything new he was learning about the Irken race. Zim was too busy glaring at the book to notice.

"I will destroy this author," the alien promised darkly as he sat back down.

"Hehe, Mastah's mad," Gir giggled.

_As Loe turned to leaf Purpl yelled, "WAAAAAAIIIT!1111"_

"That didn't sound stupid at all," Dib deadpanned sarcastically.

_"You need a sir unit 1st." They said. Loe wuz excited bye this. he never had a robot before and now she's getting one. Suddenly a teeeny tiny SIR Unet enterd the room._

_"Zir, rrepokting 4 dooty." she said with a saloot, her eys glowedr red._

_"Zir? Wats the Z stand for?" Loe askeded._

_"I don't know," Zir sad as her eyes tirned ligt Purple. She wuz soooooooo adorkable._

Zim cocked his head to the side, raising an eyebrow. Something about those last few lines sounded very familier, but he couldn't quite remember where he'd heard it before.

_Then every1 laughed._

"Oh please," Dib muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Her robot seems nice," Gir said happily, Minimoose nyahed in agreement.

_After that evrone ent to where the spaceships wer at and loe saw shed gotten new ship. the ship was brite pink like her eyes wit white stuff on it 4 decoration._

_"OMG!" Loe yelled with o-mouth_

_"dNow goo Lowe," purpl said in comandin voice, "and fulull ur destinny!" _

"Anyone else notice the author said her eyes are pink now?" Dib asked, "I thought they were blue?"

"They said gold," Zim muttered, still hating the story.

"Nyah?" asked Minimoose, who had wondered if Loe had some horrible disease that made her eyes turn into disco balls. Zim snickered at that.

_so loe got in nthe ship asnd drive thru space to Earthy._

"How do you _drive _through _space_?" Dib questioned.

_Her__ ship wuz fatest thsn zims so she got der in 1O mints whle zir talked bout tacos and piggys and__ Loe listened 2 Justin biebr who was the gratest singer evur (A/N: he haz the best muisc evr and if u don think so GTFO)_

_finily she reacedd the town zimey was at. She landede the shap and got out. She knew the must disguise and turn on her halowgrham thingy to put on the disguys._

"'Halowgrham'? She means 'Hologram,' right?" Dib inquired.

"Probably," Zim answered, "Did you see how she misspelled my name? What kind of ridiculous name is 'Zimey'?! She can't spell _that_ but she's able to spell 'conquered' just _fine! _This story makes me _so_ _MAD _I just wanna-"

He cut himself off and started clawing at the air, as if he could somehow end up hitting ZimmyGurl and/or Loe. Everyone else (Especially Gir, who had decided at some point to occupy himself by trying to eat his own feet) just ignored the irate alien and read on.

_she presded a butoon on her necklace an her skin went all frizally an den she loked hooman! She had botyfull long blond hare tgha wenh to her waisdt with totaly natural blue highlites that matchd her big eyes ith purpol tips and a hot pink T-shirt that sowed off her prety pierces bellyboutton thin denim miniskirt and five pares of earijgs and tall highheeld boots and she wore crimshon lipstick. Zir had an adooriblse amythest dogsuite on with a zipper on da front and black spots on the back._

"Commas, they're your friends," Dib stated, "Also, _natural _blue highlights and five pairs of earrings?"

"Umm... Mastah?" Gir said, tugging on Zim's uniform to get his attention, "The words is makin' my head hurt!"

A second later Gir's head exploded, a small shower of sparks going everywhere. Zim's only reaction was an irritated sigh while Dib looked on in shock.

"What is with this author and using completely pointless description?" the Irken asked as though the last five seconds hadn't happened.

_then Loe stepped out from behide an bush her ship crasdh behind an saw aearth. The sky was blu and the pants sang and the son shon brite. Loe almost didnt wanna destroy such a nice place bhut shse hada job t odo an she wood do it becuz it was her job as an invadur. Den she saw a schol and she knew zam was there._

"Did she spell my name right this time?" Zim asked.

"She put an 'a' instead of an 'i'," Dib said.

"_An a?! _How hard is it to spell my incredible name!? She did it right before! She must be brain damaged!"

"I wouldn't doubt it," Dib agreed. A second later his eyes widened as he realized he just agreed with Zim, the _enemy!_

_"Class dis is Loe," miss Biters sad as she introdecued her to everyone. loe looked at all th hemans when she stooped an saw the most smexy man shed ever saw. he had green skein blak hare an the most bottyfull violt eyes evur._

There was a pause.

"Oh... _wow_...," Dib finally spoke. Zim looked a little horrified at the direction the story was taking.

_"Hi__ cuty," she sad to hem with a wink._

_"Hi" he sadi all shy. Hed nevur seen sum1 so gorgeous b4 in his life._

_She giggled, her vice sondin like bells._

_"who u?" she aasdked._

_"my name zim," he sadid and smiled at her beauty. She o-muthed in sock. That wuz whoo she wuz havin to kill!1! buT now tat she knew hm she couldnt becuaz she loveded him sooooooooooooo much!_

"You've only known him for fifteen seconds!" Dib exploded.

"As if I would ever consider having the likes of the Loe-filth as my love-pig!" Zim yelled at the book.

_"I no u i Irken 2!" loe sad._

_"OMG!" Zim yelld w/ o-mouth, "U wana cum 2 my hose after schul?"_

_Den loe gased "Oh noes! that rrminds me invaddders need a base an stuff 2 concur the plante and i nevr mad one!"_

"Ha! Best Invader, huh?" Zim said with a smirk, "She doesn't even have a base. Zim is clearly superior!"

_"Dats k u c__an stay with me."_ _zIm said._

"_Never_" Zim hissed. Minimoose nyahed something.

Zim chuckled, "Yes, and then send her to the room with a moose!"

_ loe smild, Ziem wuz sooo nicee 2_ _her!_

"Hold on, Loe just yelled out that she's an alien a few lines ago, and _no one _is doing anything?!" Dib cried out, "What is wrong with everybody?!"

"Aww! Mastahs gotz a _girrrrlfrieeeeend!_" Gir, who was suddenly okay, sang out.

Dib yepled and jumped, _"Gah!_ Didn't your head blow up?!"

"I gotz all better!" the small disguised robot happily chirped.

_"Tank u you r da th bestest zim!" she sad happy, ten she kissede him passionantely an he kissed bak deeper and held her hand. They kissd an kisde for wat seemd like 4evur and every1 went "Aww!" evun miz Bitteres._

Both boys gagged.

_then__ an voice rang out_

_"Hey u tere!"_

_Thy turuned and saw..._

"You know... maybe... we shouldn't be reading this," Dib said slowly.

"No!" Zim shouted, "If I have to suffer through this, so do you. Besides, you havn't even shown up in this yet, so no one is going anywhere until everyone's suffered from this! How much is left of this chapter, anyway?"

"Just some author's note," Dib replied.

_A/N: __DUN DUN DUUUUN!1111111!2! WHO DID THTY C? WILL LOE KIL ZIm? wiLL DEY CONQUR DA Earth?! FInd OUT IN DA NEX ACSHUN PAKED CHAPTR! DON 4GET 2 REVIWE AN SAY HOW MUCH U LUV THIS!_

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_**A/N: **_A__nd there's Ch. 1! Bit of a slow start, but trust me when I say I have a lot of things planned next chapter. I have a lot of ideas for this, and I'm planning on parodying every single Zimfic cliche in existence (Let me know if there's any you don't want me forgetting).__

_Hopefully you all liked this first part, again sorry if they all seem a bit OOC in this. Also, don't forget to review and all that. By the way, not only can you send me a review about the overall story, but you can send one to ZimmyGurl about her story (Which, by the way, she'll respond to in the fic)._

_'Til then!__  
_


	2. Dib the Racist

**Disclaimer: I own ****nothi****ng exce****pt Teh ****Best****est Invadur Evar!1! and Zimmy****Gurl... unfortunately.****  
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**_Review  Replies: _**

**DarkX: **_Don't worry, I plan on updating this one frequently. Thanks for reviewing!_

**PinkGamer: **_HAAAAAAAAA! T__hat'd be hilarious! _XD I already have an idea for it (Sadly, it'll have to wait until next chapter). Thanks for reviewing!__

**Invader Johnny: **_Yes, Yes! E__veryone must suffer! Mwahahahaha! Thanks for reviewing!_

**Barcha:**_Yes... yes it will. Thanks for reviewing!_

**Invaderness: **_Will do! Thanks for reviewing!_

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"Let's get this over with," Zim muttered as he grabbed the book from Dib and started reading. "Eh... A/N: ... Kay so I n-o da re-shun yoouuuu... prop... ably didn't like ... it wuz be-cause n... not-" The alien was cut off as Dib took the white book back.

"Maybe I should keep reading," he said, ignoring Zim's glare.

_A/N: K so i no dah reshuion u probly dint lkei it wuz bcuz knot much happened last chaptre because it was just da opening but mow thngs will get beter._

"Yeah... _that's_ the reason we didn't like it," Dib said dryly.

_Revkiw replies!12!_

_DarkX: Howe daer u! U soooooooo mean! I am a grate witer an ur jealoos. I now how 2 spell zimm (C Ican sdepll it!)_

"No you _can__'t!"_ Zim shouted, throwing his arms into the air.

"I don't think anyone can be jealous of this author," Dib said with a shake of his head.

_an__ Loe dressses lik tat becuz che expreszz herself and she is soooooo purty. AN NoTE a marysue an i cn writ dib gr8 watch!_

"Mary Sue?" Dib asked.

"If that's supposed to be an insult, it's a horrible one," Zim grumbled, "It sounds too... nice... sounding for this abomintion."

"I'm not sure...," Dib mused, "I feel like I've heard it somewhere before. Anyway, if how she's written you is anything to go by she'll probably do me just as bad."

_BubsyFan1O1: She i snot a marysue! an i cn spell wih my eyes closd 2! !swe u am d fe7 dpqeller!677!_

"Nyah!" MiniMoose squeaked, which translated to him saying whoever taught ZimmyGurl's English class needs to be fired. Assuming ZimmyGurl actually ever went to skool, which didn't seem likely.

_CHAPTER 2: dib thr evul jrek!1!_

"Of course I am," Dib sighed. Zim just gave a devious grin. He had a feeling he would enjoy this greatly._  
_

_We tund 2 c hoo the vioce was._

_It wuz... dibb!_

__"Wo u?" I askede.__

"Wait, why's it in first person all of a sudden?" Dib quizzed.

"That's the only thing wrong you noticed here?" Zim spoke up, "Hah. Stupid human..."

Dib took a moment to glare at him before turning his attention back to the story.

_"I Dib," he sad. he wuz sooooo ulgy and yucky and loked like a dum nerd an had a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge head-_

"Okay, we get it! You don't like me!" Dib shouted, "and my head's not __big! __Why does everyone keep saying that?"

"Because it's true," Zim said simply, as though it were the most obvious fact in the universe.

_\- and no 1 likes him b/c hes racist 2 aliens._

"I'm not racist!" Dib shouted.

"Yes, you are!" Gir spoke up.

"You guys want to take over the world and I'm stopping you! That's totally different!"

"Not very fun, is it Earth-Pig?" Zim smirked. Yep, he was totally enjoying this._  
_

_"i donut lik u alienz so i wil Kill you!" he said then LOLd evuly and... puled out a nife!1 Zimd gaspeed in horor._

_"Ono!" he sceram, lookin like he mite wet hisself he was soooo scard!_

"I wouldn't do that! I'd destroy the Dib!" Zim yelled, his mood qiuckly taking a one-eighty from where it had been seconds ago, "Then the Loe thing!"

"I'm right here...," Dib muttered.

_suddnly i yellde "NO U DONT YOU F******* JREK!" An i zapped him wit my laser from my backpack thin._

_"OW u meen b*****!" the evul dip yelld then i punced him an he went unconsios._

"Nyah!" squeaked Minimoose, commenting on how anti-clmatic that 'fight' was.

_"Loe u safed me lif," Zimm said in happy, "u sooooooo brave an srrong!1"_

_I gigled softly, "Thaks Zim-Zim."_

"_Zim-Zim?!_" Zim thundered, "Who does she think she is giving _me_ pet names! Does she not know who I am?!"

"Hey, she's your 'Gurl'," Dib responded. Zim didn't respond, he was still busy fuming over his little nickname.

_"Cum on, let's go 2 my hose an be alooone," he cuntinued seducktivly den he picked me up bridal-style an we left to go to his bass b/c we were 2 cool 4 school._

"And of course, no one else saw any of this even though that whole thing just happened right in front of them," Dib grumbled.

"Oooh, we have a hose and a fishy?" Gir asked excitedly.

"No, Gir," Zim answered, "This author is just too stupid to spell anything right."

While they were speaking, Dib decided to skim ahead to see what was next. What he saw made him grimace.

"Well, get on with it!" Zim snapped impaitently, "What's the hold up?"

"It's... um... w-well," Dib stuttered, not knowing what to say, "The next part's... ummm..."

Zim ripped the book from the human's grasp and looked at the page. His eyes widened when he realized it detailed... _certain activities_ he had with Loe in bed. The passage went on for a full half-hour, and by the end of it a certain Irken could be heard vomiting into a nearby bush. Dib was ready to join him and even Gir seemed very disturbed by what had happened. Minimoose just continued to float where he was with a very deep frown.

"I... I can't ever unread that," Dib mumbled in horror as a very pale Zim returned. He didn't need to know all those things about his nemesis.

"I _really _don't think we should-"

"No!" Zim yelled, "Everyone must suffer!"

"But-"

"_EVERYONE!_" the Invader screeched, shoving the book in Dib's face, "Now read!"

_the next moornin Loe waks up nex 2 zim her looooooong a bootyfill eyelashs blinkin open._

"And now it's back to third person," Dib commented, "Doesn't make it any better."

_zism waz soooo hawt when a slepp without his hoomen diguise an evun hotter whn he waz doing th u-no-wut ;). He waked up an smild at her._

_"Good moorning smexy," she sad 2 him._

_"Morning bootyful," he said happy an kissed her deeeeply an dey lied back down on the bed._

"NO! Not again!" Zim yelled, recoiling in terror at the thought of another _scene_ happening.

_But befor we cud do u-kno-what a robot tat lookd lik zir but was bloo an note as cute as her cam in2 th room._

_"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" he sad an waved at tem, "LOOKIT MAH PIGGY!"_

_"lowe dis is my robot grr."_

_"ARE U HIS GURLFIEND!? U R SOOOOOO SEXY AN BETTER THEN AL DA TACOS EVUR!121!"_

_"Ono Gir bak off!" Zis said, ben all protactif of LOwe, "Shes mine git yer own GF!"_

_Loe gigld ansiad, "LOL boyz don't fite over me." It wuz so cute howe they both likd her._

"If it means I don't have to deal with her, then I'd _gladly_ let Gir have her," Zim stated, "Knowing him, he'd probably end up blowing her up."

"I like blowing stuff up! Woo!" Gir yelled with a grin before firing some rocket at a nearby trash can that exploded on impact. None of the other humans in the park seemed to notice or care (Much to Dib's annoyence).

_"Its_ _OK Grr u_ _cn just date zir," Loe said._

_"YAY! WE CAN MAKE TACOs AN WAFFLZ AND PLAY WIT PIGGYS 2GETHERE!" Grr sad_ _and rand_ _outta the room._

_"That was sooooooooooooo nic get grr a gurlfriend," Zim sad wit a smile._

"Oh, _yes,_" Zim said sarcastically, "More of those disgusting Sue things those reviewers called them are showing up."

"I better not get one," Dib murmured. Before their little conversation could continue, a voice called out.

"DIB!"

The small group looked up and saw, standing a few feet away, a very irritated Gaz. She had her arms crossed and was tapping her foot.

"Dad came home and actually has some free time for once, so we're going to Bloaty's for lunch," she explained, "Quit messing around with Zim and let's go."

"Gaz!" Dib exclaimed, standing and going over to his sister, "You're not gonna believe this! We found this book and it has-"

He paused. "...Hey, wait! It was _my_ turn to pick where we went to eat!"

Gaz shrugged, "Yeah, but you weren't there so I picked for you. Now let's _go._"

"But there's this book that's about us!" the human pointed to it. Gir had reopened it and was flipping randomly through the pages.

"It's horrible!" Zim yelled, crossing his arms.

Gaz didn't look like she cared. "I've been waiting months for this, and we're going even if I have to drag you there!"

At that moment Gir cried out, "Oooh! Gazzy's in here!"

Gaz raised an eyebrow, "... I am?"

The little robot nodded, "Uh-huh. Right here!"

He pointed at the page, but from where human girl was she couldn't make out what it said.

"Hmm... maybe just one chapter," she relented at last. Dib took the book back, went back to where they were, and handed it to Gaz.

"You can read it. I have to look up something." Gaz looked a little annoyed, but read anyway.

_"Soo loe," zin askded as he an his GF 8 breckfest, "Howd u becum an Invadr?"_

_Loe sudunly lookede very saaad. "Ooooh! every1 use to b sooooooooo meen 2 me! my mom wuz a meen drunk an my dad used to beet me up b/c thy didn't want a dotter!"_

"Is this author five or something?" Gaz questioned, "Even Zim's dumb robot could write better than this."

"Irkens don't even-" the recently mentioned Invader started, then sighed in irritation, "Oh, forget it..."

Dib stayed silent. He had pulled out his laptop and was busy typing on it. He didn't bother writing down all of this new information about Irkens because he had quickly realized how inaccurate it probably was.

_"__I wuz also soooooo short an had no frinds an my parents wood call me meen names like 'stoopid' and 'ulgy' and abused me all th time! My mom used 2 defned me but then my dad killed her in a drunkein rage wen i wuz a little gurl!"_

"I can think of worse names to call her," Gaz muttered.

"Wasn't her mom the drunk?" Dib asked.

_"Ten I ran away 2 escape my truamatic past butt was homeless for 5 years an libing on da streets with just thue clothes on my back b4 finding out about invader school i signed up 4 it and while there I learned as meny skills as possible like writng, reading-"_

Ten minutes of listing skills later...

"-_ chemistry, fling ships, spaeking in evury langwige ever, hologram stuff an then I even got a bunch of awards an medelz b/c a i did sooo good, but i still had know friends til now!" She started too cry an sob, her singal tear looking lik fertile sparking diamonds. Zim wuz in sock with o-mouth. He felt soooooo bad 4 her._

"Meh," Zim shrugged indifferently.

_"Donut worry Loe! I luv u an will mak sure nothing bade happens too u," Zim said an he hugged an kissed her._

"What's this story about anyway?" Gaz asked.

"Some... _filthy_ excuse for an Invader comes here and falls in love with me," Zim said, shuddering at the things the author did to him in the story, "You should've seen some of the things the author's done!"

"She made me a racist!" Dib spoke up.

"Nyah!" Minimoose added, refering to _the scene_.

"Mastah got a girlfriend!" Gir said happily.

_"SHE'S NOT_ _MY GIRLFRIEND!"_ Zim screamed furiously.

"The author's called ZimmyGurl," Dib continued.

"ZimmyGurl?" Gaz snickered, ignoring Zim's glare.

"...Just read, human," the Irken muttered.

_"I no we cn go to the park an spend the day togither!," zimm sugested._

_"OK!" Loe sad happy agin. Den they walked hand an hand 2gther down the street in there disgises, ever1 saying how cute they were! Loe was wearing a lite green t-shirt with a low neckline and a pink heart on it, white shrt shorts tat showerd off her gorguos legs with sandels and a gold braclite. She had on hawt pink lipstick, and matching litge green eyeshadow and light blush. Sje aslo had on pink naikl polush._

_When tey got there they walked around an wathced the clouds in the skiy and had a picnic an had a good time._

"I'd be having a better time if someone vaporized her," Zim said. Preferably if that someone was himself.

"This is where Gazzy comes in!" Gir spoke up, bouncing around in excitment.

_But Loe wuz worried, what if the evul racist Dip showed up an attacked them agin!_

"I'm not racist!" Dib yelled, looking up from his laptop to glare at the book.

_su__ddenly... tey saw Gaz! He wuz shiting on a park bench while playing a video gme. He wuz dibb's brother but note racist. he wuz more creepy though, so no one likd to be around him._

There was silence. Finally Gaz spoke up in a very low voice that caused everyone to scoot back from the scary girl.

"...ZimmyGurl... thinks I'm a boy..."

She gave the book such a glare, some members of the group thought it would've spontaneously combusted in her hands.

"I will find where this girl lives, hunt her down, and turn her life into a neverending swirling torrent of horrors and nightmares the likes of which have _never been known!"_ During her little rant, dark and ominous stromclouds began to form in the previously clear sky. Once she was done they randomly disappeared.

_loe went to him. _"Hi!" she sad.__

_"Hi..." he said all emo-y. Loe new he wuz emo cuz he wore black and only emoz wear black._

"Maybe I wear black because I _like_ it," Gaz muttered thorugh clenched teeth, her hands balled into tights fists, "Ever think of that?"

_"No loe tat's Dibp's brother!" Zimn warned._

_"Dun worry, I'm note stupid an crazy an racist like him," gaz said._

_"Hey u should cum with us an hang out. we can get u a makeover!" Loe statede._

"No. Never..." Gaz hissed in protest.

"Be glad she spells your name right at least," Zim spoke up.

_gfaz__ nodded an they left. Litle did they no tey were being watched!_

_A/N: Ono! Woo wuz watching dem! Wat will hapen next? Will grr and Zir become a cuple? Find out next chapter! Review an say how mjch u looooooved it!_

"That... was horrible," Gaz said, purposely dropping the book on the ground like it was acid. Though she had to admit, everyone's reactions to the story as they briefly summerized it and as she read it were kind of funny. Maybe she could stick around for just a _few_ more minutes, just to enjoy everyone else's suffering. Besides, maybe she'll somehow find a way to get revenge on ZimmyGurl...

* * *

**The real A/N:**_ Gahhh! I'm such a slow updater! X( *Bangs head on wall.*_

_Also, apperantely today is the one-year anniversary of when I first joined this site. Huh... all that time went by real quick._

_Anyway, next chapter we slowly start getting into the plot (Yes, there's more to this story than IZ characters just sitting around reading a bad fanfiction). Review if you want, and I'll see you next chapter._

_'Til then!_


	3. Ships Ahoy!

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! Just the abomination that is 'Teh Bestest Invadur Evur!1!'**

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**A/N: **_So uh... hi. It's been a while. About... two years since i last updated this? Yeesh. Anyway, to any of my old readers REALLY I'm sorry this took so long. I wanted to update this sooner but I completely ran out of any motivation I had to work on this. Writer's block sucks. Then a few weeks back I came across the IZ comics and since then my love for the show has been somewhat rekindled._

_**Rev**__**iew** **Replies: **(I'm not sure if this particular batch really matters considering how long its been, but just in case any of my previous readers are still around... That and I typed these up a really long time ago and I don't wanna delete them. :P)_

**Invaderzimdibfan:**_ I_ _had_ a__ _lot_ _of_ _fun_ _writing her reactions! Thanks for reviewing!_

**DarkX: **_Oh, I t__hink_ a__ _lot of people would love to help Gaz send ZimmyGurl to the nightmare world. *Evil_ _laugh* Thanks for reviewing!_

**Invader Johnny:** _I don't think Zim fully comprehends the definition of quiet. XD Thanks for reviewing!  
_

**Pinkgamer: **_Yay for humor! Also for LOLZ I'm gonna have ZimmyGurl reply to the 5 year old thing. XD Thanks for reviewing!_

**BubsyFan1O1: **_I do aim to please. ;) Thanks for reviewing!_

**Editor-Bug: **_Ah don't worry about it, I forget to review stuff all the time. I completely forgot about the third- person and shouting thing, I can totally work it into this chapter. (And LOL your review to ZimmyGurl was perfect. XD ) Thanks for reviewing!_

**CrazyWashu: **_GAHH Your review made me so happy! :D I'm pretty glad I'm keeping them in-character so well. One of my biggest worries when writing this has been making their reactions and such OOC, so I'm always trying my best to make sure that isn't the case. Reading the comics has been pretty helpful._

_Can't forget the rest of the pairings! I already had plans to try to find ways to include all those other pairings you mentioned (Wouldn't be fair to do just ZaDr), but what's MaGr? Mimi and Gir? Minimoose and Gaz? ...Membrane and Gaz? (That one sounds especially wrong) Oh, the fun I'll have with this! Thanks for reviewing!_

**WildEncounter: **_Glad to see I'm doing a good job parodying Zimfic cliches (With many more to come!) And the grammer... it makes my eyes bleed. O_o Thanks for reviewing!_

* * *

"I found it!" Dib called victoriously, looking up from his laptop. "I knew I heard about Mary Sues before, but couldn't remember where, so I went online and-"

"Get on with it," Gaz snapped.

"...Right...," her brother mumbled, "Anyway, Mary Sues are some type of demon that use their powers to get everything they want. They're usually paired up with the guy characters in a type of story called a 'fanfiction'."

"A demon?" Zim asked. He suddenly grinned, "Ha! I knew something like _that _couldn't be a real Irken!"

"Is that it? They just show up in bad stories?" Gaz questioned, not really impressed.

"I guess," Dib shrugged, "That's all I could find. There isn't much information on them for some reason."

"Then wouldn't that mean you'll get one too eventually," she pointed out. Dib grimaced at the thought. One was more than enough. Or two - if you counted Zir. No one bothered pointing out that since ZimmyGurl thought Gaz was a boy, she herself would probably get one too, out of fear of her reaction.

_A/N: stFU abouy my storey u jreks! I work soooooooo hadr on dis too mak e it good an its a work of art! an Loe is NOT a mary su!_

"You lie!" Zim shouted, pointing accusingly at the book.

_Gaz canot b a gurl cuz he plaz vido gamz an dose other stuf gurlf z _don do!__

Gaz's eye twitched. Once again everyone scooted away from her. Zim moved Gir in front of him, as though he intended to use the small robot as a shield in the event Gaz went off again.

_Reviw__ replkes:_

_DarkX: STPO BEENG MEAN U B*****! HOWE DAR U CALL ME A TROLL! U dun evun have an acount so u dont no what ur talking abbout! an I think i WELL walk too a short peir to GIT AWAY FROM U!_

"She doesn't even get the threat," Dib said, shaking his head.

"Troll... yeah, that's exactly what she is," Gaz said with a smirk. Trolls were ugly idiots (at least in her video games).

Minimoose nyahed a question wondering what ZimmyGurl meant by "account."

"Probably just more deluded nonsense," Zim answered.

_an zimm has all tose names cuz its cute! sumhting U oviously dun get! hed propbaly luv them!_

Zim growled, glaring daggers at the book.

_BubsyFan1O1: i went no it an git olny a 332!* Dose that soun lik a marty sue?_

"Anything over 5O means she's definitely a Sue!" Dib protested.

_pinkgamer: I m NOT 5! Im 26 so dere!_

_ "__WHAT?!" _The group cried out in unison. Even Gaz didn't try to hide her shock.

_Editor-Bug: NO U SUK! zir is soopr creativ an U probly cant rite btter than me an r jalous!_

Everyone was still in too much shock over the reveal of ZimmyGurl's real age to argue with her.

_Aso i rered 1 of my fav stories evur calld "Love Knows No Race" which u should go reed cux its sooooo good an this chapter is decicated 2 it an it gabe me alot of ideaz 4 dis. Zim is soooooo hawt init an I wish dip wood be like in the shmow the ways he is in the fic._

"Look, she gotz your name right!" Gir spoke up.

"She did?! Victory!" Zim cheered, snapping out of his shock.

"Big deal," Gaz grumbled. What was he getting so excited about? She got it right twice last chapter, "It's probably an accident."

"Anyone notice she mentioned another story Zim and I were in?" Dib questioned, "Does this mean... there's _more_ stories about us?"

Everyone paused for a moment to mull it over. More stories meant there could be more people like ZimmyGurl... and more Sues. It wasn't exactly a pleasant thought.

_also igotz my frend InvaderCutie 2 beta the stri 4 me from now on an now i sooooooo insired 2 right. she watches th show allllll the time an now i well soooooooooo rite wvwey1 even bettr then B4!1!_

"It's gonna take more than an editor to save this story," Gaz said. Not that the story was _worth_ saving.

"She mentioned a show. What show?" Dib questioned.

"Deluded nonsense," Zim insisted.

_CHAPTER TREE: Dip strakes back!_

_beehind the tree... was dib!_

"I totally didn't see that coming," Dib commented sarcastically.

_he watchd loe and zin and az walking away an LOLd evully. he new Loe wuz 2 powerfull to 4 sum1 as dum an week as him. he_ neeeded 2 destrey loe 4ever!__

"Get in line," Gaz spoke up.

_butt he had a plna! meenwhe back to the puerfect cuple Loe gaz an zin were bac at the mall bying Gas new clothes and tey had gotin rid of his dum emo cothes. sum pepole keep looking at loe so zumm yellded at themm 2go away._

_"HEY U MEEN JREKZ F*********** PERVERTS LEAF ZIMNS GF ALONE!4!1!" ten he killd them with his backpak laser an they bloomed up._

"They're just looking at her, and that makes it okay to blow them up? In public? With _alien technology _anyone can see?!" Dib questioned.

"Actually, for once that almost sounds like something he'd do," Gaz mused. Well... almost.

_Loe thoght she waz sooooo luky 2 haf a man lik Zum being soooooooooo protektiv obher._

"Is dragging out 'so' like a moron her favorite thing to do?" Gaz quizzed.

"Probably," Zim muttered, "and _Zum?! Seriously?_ I'm starting to think she's doing this purposely!"

_"Tanks 4 gettin rid of thos dim pervs," Loe said. "Anythin 4 mah tru luv," he sad bac an then they fenched kiss in front o all._

"Why?!" Zim groaned, trying to rid himself of the mental image. He remembered the humans mentioning something once to help them forget something horrible. What was it called... brain bleach or something? Yeah... he'd definitely have to find some and try it out once this was over.

_Affter 5 mins he wen away 2 git gza an lowe food. "OMG," gaz OMGed, "i dount look sooooo mody an gothy anymoor or emo."_

_He had on pare o bloo shrts an a red short-selved shit tat waz th red coler lik blood butt not too red becuz if it lookd like blood tat be th clor villains have an peepl coud think hes evul._

"I'm not gonna even try to make sense of this anymore," Dib sighed, "This story is somehow even _worse_ with an editor!"

_"LOL now u lok nomral," loe sad with happy, becuz he lookd more like her but note as smexy and amazing._

"Great, now I look like the Sue," Gaz muttered.

_"like wheres zin?" gaz askde butt then he cam bac._

_"OMG LOE!" he shotid,_ _"ZIN J__US_ _FUND OUT THERDES_ A _JISTIN_ _BIBER_ _CONCERT HER_ _2NITE!" (AN; LOL_ i _4goot hoe much he yeld in da show. __XD )_

_"Like_ _OMFG!" loe_ _screemd in joy._ _Jutin_ _Bieber was the gr8est_ _singer_ _evur an_ _wuz_ _sooooo kawaii!_

"What do beavers have to do with any of this?" Zim questioned.

_"WANNA GO 2 IT AN B ZINS DART?." Zin askded._

_"F***** yea!" loew happilly ejackulated._

At that Gir burst into a fit of loud, hysterical laughter. As he rolled back and forth on the ground, grabbing his sides, everyone just stared at him for a few moments silently before going back to the story.

_that nite Loe pit on rippd denim genes, a purpl Justen Beber sirt a gold braclet an hawt pink lipstick with mascara an her heman hare was now in a hi ponytale._

_"LOE U HAVE A MASSAGE FROM THER TALLESTD" zims komouter sudenly said. then tje talest apeared on the screen._

_"Loe hav u kiled zin yet?" tey askd and loe o-mouthd in fear wen she remebord that_

"Honestly, I'm surprised ZimmyGurl actually remembered that," Dib said.

_wat waaz she gona do? She couldnt tell em the trheth!_

_"Uh note yet butt i will soon mah tallest do not wory" she said._

_"OK but u beter do it soon" they said onamisly bak an went away. loe then burst in2 crying an sobin. How cud she kil her tru luv!1?! butt she couldnt btray the talest becuz they were alwayz sayin how purfect she waz an how she wuz the gr8est inavduer 2 live and she waz like loyel an stuff. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh y did her life hav 2 b sooooooooooooooooo haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard?_

"Yes, your life is truly the worst," Zim said sarcastically, nodding.

_Sudenly... DIB CAM OUT OF THECLOEST!11 ((A/N: LOL geddit? ;) ))_

"...What?" Gaz said flatly, both at the sheer randomness of what just happened, and ZimmyGurl's horrible attempt at making a joke.

Zim, however, blinked in confusion since he didn't, in fact, 'geddit', "Eh?"

_"__MWAHAHAHA," dib LOLd,"I new if i hide in heree long enuff id lern ur secrets an i no th true now! an wen I tell zin hell dump u!"_

_"ono!" loe in hoorror as dip the tryed 2 climb out da winow but his head was soooooooooooo big an giganic it got stuk so wen he got out he tok th window an most of the wall wit him._

Zim couldn't help but snicker at the mental image of the Earth boy running down the street with his head stuck in a window. Dib just gave him a look that said 'If looks could kill...'

_"LOE U REDY?!" Zin yeled from downstars._

_"Yea!" loe yelled bac an den they wen 2 the consort in zims chery red mstung convrtibl tat waz actualy his ship that shapshifd in2 a car. wen they gotz der they jammed in th mosh pit whil justin biebrr sang an zim an loe were makeing out whil da sonh "Somebody To Love" playd._

"I can literally feel my brain cells dying the longer this goes on," Gaz muttered.

_after da concrt thy ent bak 2 zimms car and he drived thm to a large clif overrlolkin the cityy._

From where he was sitting, Zim sat up hopefully. Had his fanfic self finally come to his senses and was now about to throw Loe off of the cliff? That would be pretty enjoyable.

_He an loe startd too kiss eachothr deeeply an full of passoin. it wass sooooooooooo hawt and sexyy!1! _

Zim slouched a bit, crossing his arms and muttering a couple of curses in both Irken and English. So close. Minimoose gave him a reassuring pat on the back, which was pretty hard considering he had puny stubs for arms.

_"OMGG LOE ZIN LOVVES U SOOO MUCH ZIIM DONUT KNW WAT ZIM WOOD DO W/O U!" he sad. ((A/N: i also 4got how muh he likd 2 b in 3d purson LOL))_

Zim narrowed his eyes, "Hey! Zi- er, _I_ don't do it _that_ much!"

No one said anything.

"Well, I don't!" Zim continued defensivly.

"Well... no... I guess not. I mean, not like here," Dib spoke up after a moment. It felt kinda weird defending Zim, of all people. Scratch that,_ very_ weird. This story must really be starting to get to him.

"The yelling part's pretty accurate, though," Gaz chimed in.

_LOe new ten tht she'd od anythin 2 amk sure th talest cudn't kill him no matter what happnd evun if it ment betrying th emprie. Sudenly... it happnded !1!_

"Someone finally kills her?" Gaz asked.

_Tere waz evul LOLing outsided the car. Thy lookded an thre wuz Div!12! "Lowe i new i wood fidn u hare" he sad._

"How exactly?" Dib questioned, "Hidden camera? Tracking device? Huh? HUH?"

_"An nowe i tell zib ur secrit!"_

_"Onoes!" Loew thouht._

_"LOE WAT HE TALOKING A BOUT? zimn askde._

_"loe waz sent her 2 kill u ded b/c th talest heat youz!1!" dib exclaimd._

_"LOE IZ DIS TRU?!" Zin gaspded. he hope it wuz a lye. but ten Loe got all sad like she wuz gonna cry an knew she coldnt hid th truth anymoaar._

_"Yes it all tru." She t old him "butt ten i realzied that i love u soooo much n i don wana now."_

_"LIKE STFU U LIEIN B**H YU DO THIS U BETRIED ZIMM!11!" zim screemed "ZIMN IZ DMPING U!"_

_"NOOOOOOOOOoOOOOOOooOOOOOOO!1!211!"Loe scremed._

"YES!" Zim yelled triumphantly.

"Yay!" Gir cheered alongside him, though he wasn't sure why they were cheering (He hadn't really been paying attention). Nonetheless, he shot celebratory confetti out of the top of his head.

_Loe cryed an cyied her hert shaterin in2 a bilion pisces. zin alzo stard cryin becuz he felt soooooo sad an hertbroken 2._

_low askd dip "Dib y u doo ths?! Wat i evur do 2 u?!"  
_

_"becuz u r in mah way an I must stopp u!"_

"Finally, something I'd say!" Dib said. It wasn't perfect, but at this point he'd take what he could get. Unfortunately, he didn't realize things were about to get much, _much _worse.

_"in da way o what?" Loe asdke._

_"of ths!" dib repiled dramaticaly and then he wen up to Zim and... made out wit him passionately!_

There was silence.

Followed by more silence.

Followed by even more silence.

_zib waz surpirsd, bt den kissed him back. ther wer tounge and thy both monaed and stuff an it wuz sooooo hawt!  
_

_"zin i alwayys luved u!" dib sadi._

_zin replid "ZIMM LOVS U 2!1"_

A little more silence... and then everyone in the group (Minus Gaz, who seemed pretty indifferent) burst into loud, horrified screaming. Suddenly, Gir (of all people) ripped the book out of Dib's grasp, fling it up high into the air, and fired a missile at it from his head. There was a large explosion, and then a smoking heap fell to the ground. Everyone cautiously approached it.

"Is it... is it destroyed?" Dib asked. Moments later the smoke cleared, and to everyone's shock/horror the book was still completely intact. It smelled a bit smoky now, but besides that it looked as though nothing had happened, "But, h-how?! That doesn't make any sense! That thing should be completely-"

"KILL IIIIIT!" Zim screeched, then he deployed his spider-like mechanical legs from his PAK and started using them to fire lasers at the book. Dib quickly joined in, trying to actually rip the book apart with his bare hands. Gaz stared at the two for a few moments, then shrugged and joined in on the chaos. Gir was running in a circle screaming hysterically. He'd already forgotten why they were screaming, but screaming was fun! Minimoose was floating nearby, watching everything unfold with that dopey smile he always wore as he lazily rolled over. None of them noticed the park-goers that stared at them like they were a bunch of deranged lunatics. A few humans even fled in terror.

After a few minutes, everyone finally calmed down. The book had been burned, shot at, beaten, and ripped at, yet when he dust settled it was still intact.

"How is it still alright?!" Dib demanded with slowly mounting terror, slowly reopening it and going back to where they were, "What's this thing made of?!"

To everyone's relief, all that was left was the author's note.

_A/N: LOLZ i bet u dint c taht comeing!_

For once, everyone could agree with ZimmyGurl on something.

_An da reasun it tookd so long 2 update this waz cuz sum jerk brokd in2 mi hous an didsroyd my compotr so i had 3 save mon eys 4 a new one. butt i gotz a knew 1 so its ok now! TAK TAT JERL!1  
_

"Too bad they didn't destroy anything else," Gaz muttered, "Like your face."

_Anyeay reviwe it an say NICE TINGS about howe gr8 dis iz! c u nex time!_

* * *

**A/N: **_That was tons of fun to write! To think we have many more pairings where that came from. Don't freak out shippers, I'm not bashing your pairings or anything, this is all just for fun.  
_

_* I wasn't making that one up. I got curious and took the test to see just how Sue-ish Loe is (Based on events that happened previously and what's gonna happen later on)._

_Also, to anyone that didn't get the reference near the start of the chapter: "Love Knows No Race" is an actual ZaDr and RaPr fic written waaaay back in 2002 on this site. It's pretty infamous due to how horribly OOC everyone is, and it's mess of a plot - among other problems. Fair warning to anyone that's curious and want to read it, it gets really effed-up at some parts. On the bright side, there's some really hilarious MSTs of it you can Google._

_Sorry again for disappearing for so long. I just want you all to know that I do intend to finish this story no matter what happens or how long it takes._

__Anyway, that's all! As usual, review this (and ZimmyGurl ;) ) and if you have any Zimfic cliches you want me to parody let me know. 'Til then!__


	4. Three's a Crowd

**Disclaimer: I own nothing besides 'Teh Bestest Invadur Evur!1!', ZimmyGurl, and the Sues. It's sad, really.**

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**A/N: **_I don't really have much to say for this particular chapter, other than that it's the longest one I've written yet. I don't really know why I felt like pointing that out, but just enjoy. :P_

**_Review Replies:_**

**Editor-Bug: **_It's great to be back. ;) Thanks for reviewing!_

**DarkX the Dragon Knight: **_Yeah, but I'm here_ now!_ AND I'M UPDATING MY FICS FASTER THAN YOU! (This one, anyway) NYEH HEH HEH! Thanks for reviewing!_

**CryptologicalMystic: **_RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISE! *Raises fic from the dead* Thanks for reviewing!_

**Invader Johnny: **_Oh trust me, Zim and Dib are both gonna need some serious therapy when this is all over. XD Thanks for reviewing!_

**Guest: **_Here's your update! Thanks for reviewing!_

* * *

Dib hadn't thought that the story could've gotten any worse, he really hadn't. The Sues, the horrendous plot and characterizations had been terrible enough, but him and _Zim? _A _couple?!_

Speaking of Zim, the Irken had been uncharacteristically silent for the past few minutes. Looking over at him, Dib saw that Zim had appeared to have entered some type of catatonic state. He was lying on his side in fetal position, staring off at some point in the distance with wide, vacant eyes. Gir was sitting next to him digging up worms and slurping them up, unknowingly throwing a whole bunch of dirt and grass on Zim in the process, but the alien didn't give any sort of response. The last chapter must've broke him. If it weren't for the fact that Dib didn't like Zim in the slightest, he might've felt bad for him.

Minimoose, however, had also taken notice of the state his master was in. He deployed a miniature electrical prod from one of his nubs and jabbed Zim in the side with it.

Zim yelped and sprung up, "Onward!"

_"'Onward'?!"_ Dib asked in disbelief, looking at the alien as though he'd just sprouted a second head, "You can't be serious! You're more insane than ZimmyGurl if you still wanna keep going after... after _THAT!"_

Zim narrowed his eyes at the human, "Need I remind you, Dib-worm, that it was you who wanted to read this in the first place?"

"And it was _you _who insisted we keep reading!" Dib shot back, "For - by the way - a really stupid reason!"

The pair went on arguing like this, until Gaz had had enough. She stood up, went over to them and smacked them both in the head with the book to get them to shut up.

"Your dumb voices are giving me a headache!" she snapped, "Is someone gonna keep reading or what?"

While she hated the story as much as they did, the only reason she wanted to keep going was because even though she didn't show it, she was getting a kick out seeing her brother and his nemesis suffer. That, and Gaz was looking for a way to wreak horrible vengeance on ZimmyGurl for her portrayal of her in the story. She figured if she was lucky, the author would let slip her address or something else Gaz could use to hunt her down. She certainly was stupid enough to do that. If not, Gaz would find a way to track her down eventually, and when she did...

Dib groaned, rubbing the spot on his head where he'd been hit by the book twice now that day. He knew he wouldn't win this argument, "Ugh, fine! We'll keep going for a couple more chapters. Anyone else wanna read at least?"

No one replied. Dib sighed. He didn't think so. Very reluctantly, he re-opened the book to the next chapter.

_Reveiw Repliesz:_

_DarkX the Dragon Knight: LICK STFU I bet u wer trh 1 that broked my lapotp weret u!?_

"If that's the case, this DarkX person is my new best friend," Gaz spoke.

_CryptologicalMystic: I m a gr8 spellr! Alsomy brane IZ NOT INFCTED!_

"Mmhmm,_ suuure _it isn't," Zim said slowly with a nod.

_A/N; OMG thnak u all ur suport an alllll the reivews!_

"What support? All she got were two reviews this time, and they were both negative," Dib pointed out, "In fact, she hasn't gotten one nice review since this thing started."

"Nyah!" Minimoose replied, saying that ZimmyGurl was probably just desperate for attention. It would explain a lot.

_Am i no despit dose meen flamerz da rest of u love this soooo much! _

Gaz snorted.

_so anyaay this chaprt is deticatd 2 my bata InvaderCutie b/c thy r mah bff evur an they r soooo helpfl! an guess waht? I gotz a suurprise for u all dis chapter! it gonna be gr8.!1!_

"_Oooh, _I like surprises!" Gir spoke up in excitement, "Is it gon' be a monkey? Or cheese? Or a monkey _made_ of cheese?!"

Minimoose, also trying to guess, asked, "Nyah?"

"Whatever it is, it's probably gonna be horrible just like everything else in this story," Zim answered. The two small robots drooped in disappointment.

_Chaper Fore: Da Spushel Surprise_

_So zin waz at his basee. Din had spended th nithg wit him an they spent th ehole tim taking a bout hoe muh thy lovded eachohtr an waaatvhing a romantic moovie like Twinlight (it waz Dibs fav) an kissed an stuff as they cuddleded on the counh._

Zim and Dib both visibly cringed at this.

_When Sik waked up th next mornig, ddib waz still asleep on th ecoch, so he wen in2 thee kitchon 2 amle brekfst. As he did he herd a nose comming from Girs rom upstars. It soundedd limk Grr an zir wer doin th u no what. LOL ;)_

Dib almost gagged. The accompanying mental image didn't help, "They're _robots!_ How's that even possible?!"

Zim was also upset, but for a different reason, _"'Sik'?!"_

_He smild. LOL thaat was soooooo cutte!1_

Dib protested, "No, it's gross!"

"I 'member one time, I was watchin' TV and I found the wrestlin' channel where two people would fight each other in bed," Gir explained, "Then mastah came in an' saw me watchin' it an' he said 'Lucy, when a mommy an' daddy love each other reeeal much, they fly off to New Jersey to fight squid monsters an' eat their babies.' Right, mastah?"

Zim, however, wasn't paying any attention whatsoever, "_'SIK'_?!"

_But tzimn had 2 no sumtihing so he wen to his labs an sad to his comporter, "COMPOTRER; SEND A MESSAGE 2 TH TALESDTS PLZ!1!"_

_"YESS IR," the comporter said an thn the Talkests came onscreen._

_"OMG TALLESTS DID U SENF LOESW 2 KIL ZIN?"_

_"Ye we did b/c we h8 u!" Red yeled. zim waz all o-mouht in surprise._

"Why? Loe told you all this last chapter," Dib said_. _Where was Loe anyway? She had seemingly disappeared from the story altogether. Not that he was complaining.

_"BUT Y?"_

_"B/c we think u like, sooooooooo stoopid an u suk at uyou're job an u defect so we acually banished u!" Puple also ylled._

_"Yeah ur misson iz lie!" red finishd. Then thy both LOLd lick th meen evil jerkz they were at zims pain and then went off th scren so zim waz alone. then Zmm brokded down in taers. his hole life was a lie an everyhing he ever worked 4 was now nohing an it mad him soooo sad. :'(_

"Oh yeah, I can just _feel_ the emotion," Gaz drawled sarcastically, not really caring. Zim, however, was seething furiously. The name mutilations and how terribly he was written were bad enough, but _this?!_ How dare she claim that the Tallest lied to him! _Him! _As if his leaders would ever think so lowly of the amazing Zim! What kind of lies was ZimmyGurl trying to spread?!

_Zim just cryed and cryd for like evur an tehn he raned upstairs in2 the kitchen. he grabed a knif an stard to CUT HI SWRISTS!1 an green blood wen eveywher!_

_"ZIN HAZ NOhTING LEFT 2 LIVE FOOR NOW TAT LOES GONE AND ZAM HAS NO MISSON!" He waz gunna SUEICIDE!_

"Just listening to this makes me wanna commit suicide," Gaz grumbled. Zim had perked up a bit, though. If his fanfic-self died, then the author would no longer be able to make a complete fool out of him! Or spread horrible untrue lies!

_Suddenly, it wa sDib11!_

_"HOLYY S**** ZIM WAY R U DOIN?" He waz all sock an horrifod an he watchd._

_"GO A WAY DIN ZIN DOSNT HAVF RASHUN 2 LIF AN YMORE!"_

_"Yes u doo u hav me!" Dib tolded him ful of emution. Sudenlyzim reelazed it wuz tru and he droped the kinef._

Zim yelled in protest, "No no NO! Just let me die!"

Beside him, Gir gave him a sympathetic look, as though the small robot completely understood what his master was going through.

_"OMG DIBBY UR SOO RITE ZIMN IZ SORY!" _

"'Dibby'?!" Dib exclaimed. Zim snickered.

The human boy glared at him and replied, "Have you forgotten 'Zim-Zim'?"

Zim stopped snickering and glared back in response.

_"Cmon les get u claen up" Dib toookd ziims hand an brought him 2 th bathrom. Wen thy got tehre din put him on th shower an turnd it on 2 clean up his cutz. He had 2 take his shrt off becuz it got 2wet and zin blused bacuze je looked hawt an ten dib got noseblud when zin had 2 taked his clothz off becuz he lookd soooooooo smexy. Then Zzim telled him what happened an y he almost sueicided._

_"Its OK zim u donu need those jerkz there r plntly of gr8 stuf on Earth 4 u ull see. its a beutyfull place and note as bad as u tink." He saided all wisely."Annnnnnnd" he tookded zimns hand an zim blushd as Dib wigglde his ibrow suducktivly "I can giv u stuff th Talests coldn't." _

Dib's eyes widened as he realized what was about to happen, "No... she wouldn't..."

"Eh? What are you-" Zim cut himself off as realization dawned on him, "Wait a second!"

But it was too late.

_Suddnly, diB kissed zin with enuff love that it it shaked tem both 2 thre cores as he remooved the rest o hiz clothz an ten this happned!_

The scene was somehow even worse and more graphic than the last one. Dib didn't last very long before he had to run off to vomit. Zim made a valiant effort not to join him, but he wound up failing miserably minutes later. Minimoose begged Gir to cover his ears (Or the closest thing he had to ears) for him, but unfortunately for him Gir was busy twitching and sparking erratically on the ground like he was having a seizure brought on by the sheer badness of the passage. Out of all of them, Gaz was only one who seemed calm and collected as a traumatized looking Zim and Dib returned.

However, once it was finally over, she remarked, "Well... I'm gonna have _that_ mental image haunting me for the rest of my life now. Thanks for that."

"Woooow!" Gir exclaimed. He had miraculously recovered from his little episode very quickly, "I didn't know that Big-head could- _mmph!_"

He was cut off by Zim clamping a hand over his mouth and screeching, "DO NOT SPEAK OF IT!"

_Wen they wer dun hours l8r diib askd "so u feel bettur now?"_

_"OF CURSE ZIN FELLS GR8!"_

"Lies!" Zim hissed, still keeping his hand firmly over Gir's mouth.

_"LOL i new tat wood hhelp" Dib gigld all gurly_ _like and got up outta th b ed 2 get dressed. "I no scens Gird an zir r still bizy wit u no wat les go2 my huse 4 sum privicy."_

Minimoose nyahed in amazement that Zir and Gir were _still_ going at it. At least none of them had to see it. Gir tried to say something in response, but it was too muffled to be understood.

_Zi msaid "OK"_

_So they wen 2 dinz hosean Drib said "welcome. Dis iz mah house"_

Gaz said flatly, "Really? I would've never guessed."

_"Gaz iz at th mall rite now an mi dads at wurk so we alllllllll aloon. But 1sst i gotz 2 goo git somting so o 2 mi rroom an wait an ten we cn have sum fun," Dibn esplaind. Zim new wat he wuz getting at an winkd at him._

_"OK ZIM WWIL GO UPSTIARZ 2 UR ROM AN WAT TIL U DUN." _

"Are we seriously about to do that again?!" Dib protested. If ZimmyGurl made his fanfic self have sex with his nemesis _again_, he didn't think he would survive with his sanity intact. Next to him, Zim shuddered at the thought of another scene.

_Zzin wn up 2 dibs rom an waitd. After a whil dib returd wit sumfing behind hiz bak._

_"WUTZ THAT?" zam askd. Din pulded out a rope._

_He expland "i c it in a movie ocne. i tye u 2 th bed an itll spic thingz up if u no wat I meen."_

"I didn't think it was possible, but I think the author is officially crazier than you are, Dib," Gaz commented.

"I know right? She's completely-," Dib quickly cut himself when he realized what she had just said, "Hey, wait!"

His sister rolled her eyes (Although it was hard to tell since they always looked closed) and replied, "Shut up and keep reading."

_zim blused an said "YEA LES DO IT!1!"_

_So dib tyed hs armz an legs 2 the bedd soz im coud'nt move._

_"OK I REDY!" zin wuz excited 2 strat. But nofing happnd._

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief.

_Sudenly… Dik srated 2 LOL EVILY!_

_"MWAHAHAHAH U FEELL 4 IT AN NOW U TRAPDED!1!"_

_Zimm askded in surpise, "DIN WAT U TALKIN A BOT?"_

_"I TRIKED U IN2 COMMING HARE SO I CULD TRAPD U!" dbb sad an zin o-mouthd in shoc._

_"BUT U TELD ZIME U LUVED HIM."_

_Diib LOLD sun moar an replid, "I wood never luv an alen like u!"_

"Yes! Exactly!" Dib exclaimed, then paused and added in a horrified tone, "Wait… why didn't I try to capture Zim _before_ I had sex with him?!"

Gaz answered, "Because ZimmyGurl's an insane pervert. That's why."

_"an now wit loe gun I cn finally do watevur I want too u. and when im finshd i wel diesict u!"_

_Zam tryed too brake fre, but th ropes wuz 2 tiht. Je thot 2 hisself "IF ONLY LOE WER HER SHD NO WHAT 2 DOO!"_

_Buut lil id they no some1 was lisening. It waz… Graze!1!_

"'Graze'? That's a new one," Gaz commented, then shrugged, "Whatever. At least it's not something like 'Sik'."

Zim growled to himself and crossed his arms, trying to think of all the possible ways to torture ZimmyGurl should he ever meet her. At the moment, he couldn't decide between shooting her into the dimension of pure dooky or replacing her limbs with radioactive jelly. Either one would be very enjoyable to watch.

With his mouth finally freed, Gir concluded some story he had apparently been telling the past few minutes, "-an' that's why I can't ever wear pants ever again!"

_Meenwhil wit Loe._

Everyone groaned loudly. Of course…

_She was sooooooooooooooo saad evur since Ziin dumpd her. He had kiked her out of his hme so now she was libing inhher spacship._

"Then why am I keeping her stupid SIR around?" Zim questioned.

"Nyah," Minimoose responded, saying that that was probably the least of their problems.

_Everyhin was tearible an awful witch totes provd she WZSN'T A MARTSUE!_

Dib sighed, "No, you still are."

_Suddenly somw1 nockded on her shipp. Loew opened it an seed Gaze ther._

_"Loe thres sumfhing rong!" he telled her, "my evul brother haz zim trapd at my hose an hes gonna discect him an doo otter bad tings!"_

_"Lik OMFG!1!" loe inn shock a bout dis. Even doe he dumpd her she stil luved him sooooo much, "i haf 2 svae him!"_

_So shed cald Zur 2 ger over 2 her so dhe culd help an ten Low an zir when to Dips houes. Lode ranmed ip stauds am daw dion a nt 2 R AP ZO,!3_

Dib raised an eyebrow at the horribly mangled text and attempted to translate, "Uh… 'Loe ran upstairs and then down again to the rap zone'? No wait, that's not right…"

Zim scooted over, peered down at the book and tried, "'Loe rammed statues and drew a …'? Eh? What is this?!"

Gaz went over and grabbed the book away from her brother, "Lemme see this. 'Loe ranted up a storm and at dawn did two neat raps so…'?"

"Nyah?" Minimoose offered his own bizarre interpretation of it as he floated over. Even Gir tried, but he didn't have much luck either.

In the end, everyone decided that the line was untranslatable but that they didn't really care that much since they had a feeling that they didn't want to know what it said anyway. Gaz gave the book back to Dib and they continued on.

_"HEY GEET A WAY FRUM HEM U MOTHRF****ING JKERY JERK JREK RACIST B****H IM GUNNA BET U UP!1!" Loe yelld in fury at tat totes evul b********d dik!_

_"U 2 late Low im all prepaird!" Dipp yellded and he puld out a gun! He tyied 2 shot it but loe doged. _

_"LOL IZ CANT WSIT 2 HAF TACOZ AND WAFFLES AFTUR DIS!" Zig firrf a bagilion missles tat wer strong lick nucler bomb at hiz big dummy ugle head and he blewed up bu t he waz stil not dead!_

"How _am_ I not dead from that?" Dib mused to himself.

_ So zir fried lazerz fom her eyes tat culd melt anething and destoyed th gun. Meenwhil Loe safed Zum an cut off the roops so he wuz free._

_"LOE ZIM NEW U COLD SAV ZIK!" he siad al hapy._

_Loe tolded him "Listeen zim I no i lyed about y I wuz really here an im sory but the truf iz tat even tho i was sent 2 Esrthj 2 kil u the mooent i first seed u I new i coudnt. i didt say aneting b/c i new youd be all sad if u new your mission waz fake n becuz Im gunn quit the empre beause I love u sooooooo much an i wont let dose jerk talests hurtd u!"_

_"IS OK LOE ZIN 4GIVES U! DOSE B***H TALLESS TELLD ZIM DA TRUF AN ZIMM WUZ GUNNA GIVED UP B/C HE HAD NO RESON TO GOO ON BT NO WTAHAT UR HERE ZIJ KNOWZ HEL GET THRU IT!11" Then thy made out b/c thy wer 2gethur agen._

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Zim screamed in agony. Between being stuck with Loe or Dib, he honestly didn't know which was worse.

"Aw, it's alright, mastah. You can have my sammich!" Gir pulled a smelly, moldy tuna sandwich out of his head and gave it to Zim. Zim, in response, grabbed it and ripped it to shreds in anger, pretending it was ZimmyGurl's face.

"That sammich was the bestest friend I ever had…" The small robot sounded close to tears as he beheld the remains of the sandwich littering the ground.

_Sudenly, Zir pucked up Dib and throwed him out da windo an he mad a gigatric whole ii nth grund b/c Zike waz sooooooo srong like sooprman!_

_But ten, somebudt elsa was thre! ((AN: Here cum th surpriz!1))_

_"woah wats goin oon here?" evry1 lookd over an sawed a gurl staning there woo was arund Dubs age. She had taned skin an loooong shinye firey red hare that gloweded in the son an big sparking gren eyes like a mehdow an she was skiny but had gr8 delacite curvs wit a big shest likw Loes but not as biig or smexy. She hd on a liht blue low-cuet tnk top wit a reaaally short white shik tht only covrd her thighs and brown sandels. She alzo haded on glittri bloo nail polish on hwr feeet and hands wit a tiny dimund earings._

_She sad "Hai. Im the new nighnboar. My nam iz Muramda Anbrosia Raven Yasmine Starr Ursola Ebony Savrina Anabell Rosemary __Eloize Celestia Odete Mae Izabell Naden Gergeena Abiagal Nadia Dominaq Yvon Ophella Uranus Rashell Winona Opal Razbury Lielac Dayzy Willa Indigo Lusee Liana Sadee Odett Octobrr Nina Barbee Elanea Mrybeth Ideena Naoni __Emningtonway the 3d." ((A/n: Cutie dis iz you!))_

Dib gasped, "It's another Sue!"

"What?!" Zim exclaimed. Loe and Zir were bad enough, now there was a third one?

"Woo-hoo!" Gir (Who had already forgotten about his "deceased friend") cheered, not fully understanding that that was a bad thing.

Gaz told Dib, "I told you ZimmyGurl was gonna give you one eventually."

"Wait, she's for the Dib?" Zim asked, "Oh. In that case, I don't really care!"

"Well… w-we don't know that yet!" Dib argued, clearly in denial, "Maybe she's for… uh… Minimoose…?"

Minimoose countered, "Nyah!"

"I know you haven't even shown up in this!" Dib snapped, then sighed, "I'm just trying to stay hopeful, alright?"

"You _actually_ still have hope for this garbage?" Zim questioned in surprise. Humans beings truly were one of the dumbest races he'd ever encountered.

_Even doe Loe zit an zim were wereing ther diguses, Miramda yeled loudly "OMG U GUYZ R ALIANS!"_

_"Woah u no dis 2?" ib askd, he was enchantid bi her beauty._

_"Yea. in factr i a pairofnomel investagaoter that haz won hundeds of awards but i dun humt ailenz so ur secret iz save wih me!" she telled every1._

Dib spoke, "Despite the fact that you just yelled it loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear. Not that anyone's gonna _do_ anything about it…"

_Them Loe gotz an idea. If Din got a gurlfiend hed b so buzy with her he woodnt com ater her an zim anemore._

_"Hiy u shood soooo date him!" Loe saided. Dik wuz al shy an blushin then an Muranda gigled at his cootness._

_"U sooooo rite! OK les go!" Miranda was al escoted 2 to go on a data wiith him so shed tooked dins hans an 2gether they lefted flurting wit each other._

"So much for that little revenge plan of yours," Gaz said. Dib didn't respond. He just wanted this chapter to be over as soon as possible.

_"So no tat hrs gone an we alooooone" ziim saided wit a smurk. Loe gigld an blushd an the they an Zie wen bak 2 zims bass an then gus wha happened? ;)_

Luckily for them, it wasn't long before Dib realized something.

"It's literally the same one as before, but with the names changed!" It was true. ZimmyGurl had only changed Dib's name to Loe's, and that was it. She had even apparently forgotten to rewrite parts of it so that Loe would have the correct anatomy.

"Then skip past it!" Zim demanded frantically. For once, Dib was more than happy to listen to the Irken.

The human mused to himself with a grimace, "Still though, two scenes in one chapter...,"

"Nyah!" Minimoose pointed out that there were technically three if they counted the part with Gir and Zir at the beginning.

Dib muttered, "You're not helping."

_A/N: Awwwwww that wuz sooooo sweet! Yea afutr reding tat 1 fic I mentuned last chaper i realized that zin and Dib wer sooo coot toogethr!1 But obviusly Loe and Zima r lkie soooooo much beter so i changded it bac. anyweys Cutie actuily liks ddib (werid right?)_

"Hey! I'm pretty cool!" Dib retorted.

Gaz replied, "No, you're not.

_An sence she mah BFF i made am oc 4 het tat likez Dib an stuf. Will git moar of her amd Din nex chpter. Mak sur 2 review (unles u a meen flamr or h8r then F****K OFF!1!) an ill c u next tim!_

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**A/N: **_And there's another chapter. Admittedly, I don't usually read many IZ ship fics (Especially ZaDr), so I don't know what goes into your average bad romance story typically, but I'm overall pretty satisfied with how this turned out. I wanted to get this up sooner, but my phone broke so I didn't really have any internet as a result. On the bright side, it's given me a lot more time to work on the next couple of chapters. I've already begun working on Ch. 6, so Ch. 5 will hopefully be up much sooner. I'm aiming for this week since all I have to do is add in the review replies.  
_

_Anyway, leave some reviews for both ZimmyGurl and I and I'll see you all next chapter. 'til then!_


	5. Hack Attack

**Disclaimer: I own nothing besides the travesties known as 'Teh Bestest Invadur Evur!1!', ZimmyGurl, and the Sues. And that's terrible.**

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**A/N: **_You're in for some fun this chapter. Get ready for something very different!  
_

**_Review Replies:_**

**Invader Johnny:** _I don't think either of them will be able to look at each other the same way ever again after last chapter. XD Thanks for reviewing!_

**DarkX the Dragon Knight:** _LOL ZimmyGurl could always use more reviews. Thanks for reading!_

**Editor-Bug:** _Well, I may not ship ZaDr, but I have read a few fics about it over the years out of curiosity. Of all of them, I'd say only about one or two of them were actually good. As for a possible love triangle, we'll see where the story goes. Though I wouldn't put it past ZimmyGurl to have that happen just to create some needless drama. Thanks for reviewing!_

**Premislaus:** _I didn't know you were into IZ! Cool! Yeah, I have a couple other fics I should try to revive too, but this is my main focus for now. Thanks for reviewing!_

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Dib stared at the white abomination in his hands and sighed.

"The sooner we start, the sooner we finish," he murmured, trying to reassure himself as he turned the page to the next chapter.

_A/N: Hello there, fellow readers._

Everyone just stared at the book in surprise.

Gaz raised an eyebrow, "Was that _actually_ a coherent sentence?"

Dib re-read it a couple times to make sure his mind wasn't trying to play tricks on him, "It… It is!"

_This isn't ZimmyGurl. Nah, she won't be able to update for a while since a reviewer broke into her house and destroyed her laptop and phone, and then beat her to a pulp. _

"Someone beat her up!?" Dib exclaimed in shock.

Gaz replied, "You can't tell me you weren't hoping it would happen."

"I know this story's _bad_, but isn't that a little-"

"Silence!" Zim suddenly interrupted, "Keep reading. Zim demands to know where this is going!"

_I'm Night-Waker, and I've been following this story for a while now. As you've probably figured out by now, this one is one of the worst fanfics ever written, and Loe, Zir and now Miranda are some of the biggest Sues I've ever seen. I think it's time for some good ol' fashioned revenge. ;)_

"Revenge?" Zim spoke up, looking excited.

_It took me a while to figure out her password (It was 'Zim-Zim'. Go figure) and once I managed to hack into her account I found the review replies for last chapter. I guess she hasn't started work on the next chapter yet or something. Anyway, I figured I'd post them here for your amusement:_

_Reevew Repiles:_

_DarkX the Dragon Knight: Y wood u break my handz? Ten i culdnt rite! _

"Nyah!" Minimoose squeaked, saying that that was the point.

Of_ curse mt scenes cuntirbut stuff to the stori! They r very importent! AN MY STORY IZ NOT TERIBLE!11_

"Oh, yeah? Name one purpose the scenes have besides fulfilling your sick, twisted fantasies," Gaz challenged._  
_

_Guest: Wut does repugnent meen?_

Dib snapped, "Oh, come on! How dumb are you?!"

_Without further ado, let's start!_

"This is gonna be good," Gaz stated with a dark smirk.

_Gaz had been noticing something strange the past few days. Ever since Loe's arrival, her brother and his nemesis had been acting weird and had become more annoying than usual. Zim was now a blushing, love-sick idiot (Well… a bigger idiot than normal)-_

"Wha-? Zim is no idiot!" Zim protested.

Gaz responded, "Sure. Keep telling yourself that."

"Of course I will! Why wouldn't I?" The Irken clearly didn't get Gaz's sarcasm.

_-and Dib was suddenly acting more and more like evil incarnate and he was more obsessed with Zim than ever before. Even the Irken's dumb robot was acting off. Of course, it didn't take her long to figure out that this was the doing of Loe and Zir._

"Ha! I knew it! I knew it was brainwashing!" Zim yelled, "What other explanation is there?"

_Normally, she wouldn't care what sort of messes they got themselves into since she considered them all incompetent idiots. If they got brainwashed by some weird Irken and her robot, it wasn't her problem. Besides, with Dib being the way he was now, he was leaving her alone for once, which suited her just fine._

"About time someone got it," Gaz said.

_But, this time was different. It had started when she first met Loe the day after she arrived on Earth. Gaz had been at the park playing on her Game Slave when Loe approached her with Zim. The idiot not only had the nerve to convince everyone that Gaz was a boy, but then she dragged her to the mall and gave her a makeover! The worst part was that Loe had thrown out her Game Slave. That was the final straw. No one, absolutely NO ONE, got between Gaz and her games and got away with it. Now, it was her problem._

"Believe me, I know," Dib responded with a shudder, remembering what had happened the last time he had gotten in the way of his sister's games.

_She said that she loved her makeover (It took all of her willpower not to rip her new clothes off and then tear Loe apart), and that she Loe was one of the greatest friends she'd ever had. In reality she was just bidding her time until she had the perfect moment to strike._

Dib mused, "Huh. That's a pretty interesting interpretation. Anyone think that's the case in the actual story?"

Minimoose answered, "Nyah!"

"Yeah, I guess ZimmyGurl _is_ too dumb to come up with something like that," Dib agreed. Oh well.

_Then yesterday Miranda suddenly showed up, and Dib was head-over-heels in love with her just like that. What interested Gaz was that Miranda appeared to have the same type of abilities as Loe and Zir did, even though she wasn't Irken like them. She decided to do some research._

_"__Mary Sues, huh?" She said to herself as she read the online article about them. From the looks of it, they were pretty much unkillable, besides one weakness; They couldn't handle criticism and logic._

"Is it seriously that easy?" Dib questioned.

Gir spoke up, "I don' like the 'logs' stuff either. Makes mah head all hurt-y."

_Huh… alright then. Didn't sound too hard. At that moment, Gaz heard high-pitched giggling downstairs. She smirked to herself. Time to have some fun. She headed downstairs and saw Dib and Miranda sitting on the couch, making out with each other. She gagged and approached them._

_"__O hai gaz!" Miranda greeted, her grammar and spelling so awful English teachers could be heard screaming in pain in the distance, "we waz gonna go doo paironormul investigaotrs stuff. Wana cimw wit us?"_

_Gaz answered, "Actually, I have a question for you. How were you able tell that Zim, Loe, and Zir were aliens wearing disguises right away when you'd never seen them before?"_

_"__Um, tey wr bad disguyzes?" Miranda answered. Gaz couldn't exactly disagree with her._

"What nonsense is she talking about? My disguise is perfect!" Zim exclaimed.

"Nyah!" Minimoose squeaked in agreement.

Gir said, "Mine makes mah butt all itchy!"

_"__How can you be skinny and have curves at the same time and already have boobs even though you're only about Dib's age?"_

_"__Uhj…" Miranda tried to come up with an explanation, but Gaz interrupted her before she could._

_"__How were you and my brother able to fall in love right after you met each other?_

_Miranda replied, clearly looking worried now, "luv at first sigt?"_

_Next to her, Dib snapped out of whatever daze he was in, "Hey… how _did_ we fall in love so fast? What's going on?"_

_"__Wha!? No no no Din u luvded mi remmburr!?" Miranda jumped up from the couch and frantically tried to explain, but it was too late._

_"__First of all, my name's _Dib_. Second of all, I just met you yesterday! Why would I suddenly fall in love with someone after only one day? Third, what's wrong with your eyes?!"_

_Indeed, Miranda had blinked at one point and her eyes had changed from green to violet._

"So there _was_ something going on with Loe's eyes in the first chapter!" Dib said.

Zim and Gaz simultaneously yelled, "Shut up and keep reading!"

_The Sue gasped in horror as she backed away and looked down at herself. Cracks that glowed a white light that was getting brighter by the second were appearing along her body._

_"__nooooooooooooooo!1!" She screamed right before she exploded into a cloud of rainbow colored dust and glitter._

Dib exclaimed joyfully, "Yes! She's gone!"

"Who cares about her? What about the Loe-thing?" Zim asked, now leaning forward eagerly to await Loe's fate.

Gir spoke up, "Can I explode, too?"

"No," Zim answered.

_Dib put a hand to his head like he had a headache, "Ugh… Gaz, what's going on? What was that thing? And why do I have the sudden urge to act like some sort of evil villain that can't speak proper English?"_

_"__Long story. Do you know where Loe is right now?" Gaz asked._

_That seemed to trigger something in her brother, "Loe I… I, I need to DISTTROI LOEW 4EVUR!1!"_

_Oh great, he was still under the control of the remaining Sues. Oh well, Gaz could handle this on her own anyway._

_"__Whatever… you have fun with that. I'll be back in an hour. Clean up that mess while I'm gone," Gaz ordered, pointing to what remained of Miranda before she left. Dib was too busy ranting about defeating Loe and killing Zim to reply._

_She decided she'd most likely find Loe at Zim's base. It didn't take her long to get there and sure enough, she answered the door just as Gaz reached it._

_"__OMFG GAZE!1 i tink sumfing bad hapend 2 Muramda!" The Sue exclaimed, as though she had somehow sensed it._

"Considering all of the other stuff she can do, it's not that surprising," Dib said, mostly to himself since everyone else was too busy focusing on the story to do much commentating.

_Gaz answered ominously, "Miranda's busy right now, but don't worry. You'll be seeing her again real soon."_

_"__O gud!" Loe said, not suspecting a thing. Suddenly, she seemed to get an idea and grinned, her teeth so perfect and shiny that they nearly blinded the human girl, "Hey Zik an i wer a bot 2 do sum u no wat u wanna jion uz?"_

"Nyah!" Minimoose squeaked, commenting that the worst part was that that sounded like something ZimmyGurl would actually try to do. The others didn't need to be reminded.

_Gaz hid a grimace and replied, "No. In fact, I'd rather do this instead."_

_With that, the human girl tackled Loe to the ground. _

Zim complained, "Hey, what about me?! Zim wants to be the one that kills her!"

_During her little makeover day at the mall, the Sue had gone on and on about herself and her life before she came to Earth, which gave Gaz all the ammunition she needed._

_"__You kept going on the other day about how loyal you are to your dumb leaders, so why would you suddenly betray them for some guy you just met?"_

_Loe's eyes widened as she realized what was happening. A second later, Zim ran into the living room._

_He yelled in an unnecessarily loud voice, "WAT IZ GOING ON? GAS WHUT R U DOING 2 ZIIMS TRU LUV!?"_

_Gaz ignored him and didn't give Loe a chance to get a word in as she continued her stream of questions, "Why do you have boobs when Irken girls don't have any? Why are your eyes two different colors? How were you able to learn all of those different skills during training? Why does your robot act so much like Gir? If you're so special, why did your leaders even give you a robot like Zir, anyway? Why do you have no personality? Why are you so perfect and stupid and annoying all the time?"_

_Almost immediately, Zim finally came to his senses._

_"__Huh? Wha?" The Irken looked around in confusion for a few moments before he spotted Loe, still pinned under Gaz. His eyes widened as he remembered the events of the past few days and he exclaimed, "You!"_

By this point, Zim was practically leaning against Dib as he looked down keenly at the book with a large, almost wild grin. He didn't seem to notice just how close he was to the human boy, but Dib did and he quickly scooted away. After everything in the last chapter, he didn't want to be anywhere near Zim if he could help it.

_"__Step away from her, Gaz-human. She's mine," Zim growled in a dangerous tone. Gaz stood up and stepped back, not because she actually wanted to listen to him, but because she was curious about what would happen next. Loe already had the glowing cracks beginning to appear, so Zim didn't really have much time with her left._

_Still, the dying Sue tried to get him back under her control in a last ditch effort to save herself, "B-But Zim-Zim u loooovded mw! Tink o all th gud timez we had 2gether!1!"_

_"__Fool! Zim needs no one! Especially not some sick freak like you!" The Invader proclaimed as he deployed his PAK legs and aimed them right at her. Even if she looked like she was about to explode, Zim was determined to make sure it was he who delivered the killing blow._

Zim cheered his fanfic-self on, "Yes! Do it! DO IT!"

_Loe threw her hand out and yelled, "Nu wait! DUN-"_

_She never finished her sentence as Zim vaporized her. All that remained of Loe was a neat little pile of ash._

"YEEEEES!" The Irken jumped up and thrusted his fists into the air in victory, "Vengeance is ZIIIIIIIM'S!"

Dib and Gaz watched him as he ran around, yelling about victory while cackling maniacally. Minimoose just kept floating there like nothing was happening while Gir ran around with his master, laughing crazily with him. Until about a few seconds later anyway, when the small robot's laughter randomly turned into hysterical screaming.

Gaz eventually looked over at Dib and demanded, "He's not gonna shut up anytime soon, so you may as well keep going. It has to be almost over, anyway."

_With that all said and done, Gaz turned around and left. Her work here was done. She'd gotten her revenge._

_As she walked past the lawn gnomes, Zim called out to her, "Tell your brother I'm going to destroy him later!"_

_"__Yeah, yeah," Gaz replied dismissively as she turned onto the sidewalk and went home._

"Nyah?" Minimoose asked, wondering about Zir.

_A few seconds after the human left, Zir came running into the room, shouting, "TACOZ TAOCS TOACOZ! LOL U WANA PETED MAH PIGGY?"_

_Zim whirled around and faced her. Oh, right. He'd forgotten about her. He pointed at her and demanded, "Hey, you! Self-destruct!"_

_"__FINALY!" The tiny robot giggled. A second later she exploded and died, a couple of bolts and a small puddle of oil being all that was left of her. After ordering his computer to clean up the mess, Zim headed into the kitchen to go to his labs so he could begin work on his next evil plan to take over the Earth. With all of the Sues dead and their control over everyone broken, everything could finally return to being normal._

_The End_

"And that's the end of it," Dib said as he finished the chapter, "Oh, wait. There's one last line."

_A/N: Just imagine how mad ZimmyGurl will be when she reads this. XD_

Gaz responded, "I am. And it's hilarious."

A moment later something vibrated in her pocket. She reached in and pulled out her phone to see her father had sent her a text.

_'__Hello, daughter!' _It read, _'Have you found your brother yet? We can't head to lunch without him!'_

Oh, yeah. She'd been so caught up in the story that she had forgotten why she had come to the park in the first place.

She answered back, _'Yeah. I got him. We're on our way home.'_

"We're going home, Dib. Now," Gaz spoke as she stood up and put her phone back in her pocket. At this rate, it pretty obvious that she wasn't going to get anywhere with the book anytime soon. So, she wasn't going to waste another minute of her time with the poorly-written story, especially when she had somewhere else to be. Besides, she supposed she _could_ count this latest chapter as her getting revenge on ZimmyGurl, in a way. It wasn't as good as dishing it out herself in real life, but she could think about that later.

Dib was more than happy to oblige if it meant it got him out of having to sit through another chapter. He set the book aside and jumped up to his feet, saying, "Finally! Let's get of here!"

Zim suddenly stopped his little celebration and turned to face the two. Gir, meanwhile, didn't notice and kept running around and screaming until he ran face-first into a tree and fell back into the grass.

"What?!" The alien exclaimed, "You can't go yet! We're not even halfway through-"

The warning growl from Gaz was all that was needed to shut him up. If there was one thing that Zim had learned since arriving on Earth, it was that angering the scary young girl was _never_ a good idea. So, he wisely kept quiet as the two siblings left. Once they were gone, he went over to where the book lay on the ground and picked it up.

"Well… I _guess _it's a good place to stop," the Irken decided, then addressed his robot minions, "C'mon, you two. Let's go home and COMPLETELY OBLITERATE this stupid thing!"

The two robots cheered and followed their master out of the park and back to the base.

* * *

**A/N: **_Don't worry, folks. This isn't the end. No, we're juuuuuuust getting started. ;)_

_Anyway, please review 'ZimmyGurl' and I as usual. 'til then!_


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